:cat: This was sent to me in my e-mails:

Subject: British Humour


The train was quite crowded, so a U.S. Marine walked the entire length
looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed,
middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular,
"Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was
under that dog.

"Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude; you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! Put this American
in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem
to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the
wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And
now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong b1tch out the window."

I think I know that woman.....

An e-mail I got recently...



From Iraq:

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Basra when they came upon an Iraqi
terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road
was an American Marine in similar but less serious state. The Marine was
conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader
asked the injured Marine what had happened. The Marine reported, "I was
heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was
a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the
ditches along the road.

"I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable, lowlife scumbag, and he
yelled back that Senator Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left wing
liberal drunk.

So I said that Osama Bin Ladin dresses and acts like a frigid, mean spirited
woman!" He! retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well so does Hillary Clinton!"
"And, there we were, standing in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when
a truck hit us"

:cat: :lol: :clap: